The farm had a building we called the barn but was really a work shed for the cedar lumber business. We had a selection of tools including radial arm saw, table saw, planer and a grinder. The grinder was Grandpa’s particular favourite. He loved running the disks over the axes, knives and generally anything with a blade that needed sharpening. It was the most dramatic of the tools in that it left off this beautiful shower of sparks when the metal contacted the grinding wheel. The kids loved it. Grandpa gave the older boys strict orders to stay away from it, as it was too dangerous for them to handle.

Might as well hold a red rag up to a bull as tell two boys 8 and 9 not to touch a power tool. They used to get the lids off the tin cans in the recycling, sneak into the barn and cut out Ninja stars, sharpening the edges to fine razor sharpness. I never caught them at this and they didn’t confess to it until 20 years later. Even in their confession their eyes lit up and you could see the two of them at that age again. “Wow! They really flew and sliced into the wood!”

Is it too late for me to learn anything from it? Probably but thank God they survived. The lesson for any parent is no matter how much you shelter your children they will try what you forbid, especially if you enjoy it yourself. They eventually see that as hypocrisy and absolutely have to try it. If you don’t believe in God, when you have children, it’s a good time to start. Angels around them is a necessary requirement for surviving childhood.

Also children will be less curious about what concerns you if you are more open about issues. A friend of mine when his children were under 5 years of age went to Africa where he met a missionary. She was a chocoholic and a compulsive cola and coffee drinker. Her parents were very strict about what she could and couldn’t have growing up. They were concerned that she only eat and drink what they thought was healthy. Now in her 30s she could not control her desires for those products. Previously to this visit my friend had taken the same stand with his wife and children. But when he returned, he gave chocolates to each of his girls and his wife a bag of coffee. He didn’t want his children to end up like this woman.

Another man I knew had been forbidden as a child to read the colour comics in the Saturday paper. It was his weekly chore to get to the paper first, take the comics out and burn them before any of his siblings could see them. In his 30s he had no idea of what was appropriate or inappropriate to watch. He watched videos with his young children that were “R” rated. He didn’t want his children to feel that they had missed out on something in their childhood. In his adverse reaction to his parents he had swung so far to the opposite position that he was exposing his children to images that were damaging to their little minds. He had no control and no discernment.

When Joel was 16, he told us that he was going to dye his hair blue. We said, “That’s fine, it’ll look good.” He shook his head and said we took all the fun out of trying to be rebellious. He didn’t dye his hair either. Forbidding is the hook that creates desire for the fruit. Express your concerns for your children’s safety, explain you will do it with them and acknowledge that it is fun under the proper guidelines. They will trust you and your word that you are protecting them not withholding something that you enjoy but refuse them.

Before we had children we talked my wife’s mother into giving us their piano. Bonnie had taken piano lessons as a child but never stayed with it. I thought I would like to try playing. I attended music lessons with a group and found that all the supposed beginners were beginning with 3 to 4 years of lessons. I couldn’t keep up and quit. But we kept the piano for that fateful day when we had children. (Why do parents who don’t play put their children through all the agony of lessons?)

Becky, our first daughter, had a passion for the piano. Even as a toddler she would hold onto the keyboard with her hands over her head and twinkle the keys. She couldn’t stay away from the piano. We didn’t give her lessons until she was 8. Her twin brother started at the same time. Although he outshone her in ability, she had desire. He wouldn’t practise, she would. She couldn’t walk by the piano without stopping to play. We got wise and bought an electronic piano so that she could practise with earphones. When she was 12, she started lessons with a teacher who not only taught her to read music but also taught her to play by ear. By 14 she was leading groups in song from the piano.

Over the years I watched her develop into a great pianist. Other parents would ask her piano teacher to make their children play like Becky. He confided in us that the problem he had was their child didn’t have the talent that Becky did. She was his star pupil. I pondered this, as Becky six years earlier was not the more talented of the twins. What made the difference and did this have any application for my life? What made Becky star material when you wouldn’t have said it was so in the beginning?

It was desire and pleasure. Desire and pleasure worked hand in hand. She enjoyed the music and that fed the desire to play even more. Technically her brother was seemingly better but didn’t have the love for the music that she did. You see you can do something well technically but be outshone by someone who has the music in them. Two dancers can be equally competent in skills but one will out perform the other because of the rhythm or music within them.

Desire will increase talent. If you have a talent, it still needs diligence to flourish. Desire is the fuel to ignite the potential locked within a talent. What secret talent lies within my heart waiting for desire to arise and unlock its potential?