Apr 2009
Reactionary Vision
02/04/09 21:54
As I said in the previous article on vision, discontentment is a key to starting something new. Discontentment stirs us up to move out of our comfort zone and to risk the possibility of failure. If this state of being is left too long it can credit some negative and unhealthy attitudes. We spent a year longer than we wanted to at the home church as our scheduled date fell in a very turbulent time for the church. The postponement was necessary but left a void in my life as I had stepped down from the eldership in anticipation of leaving. The year felt like an eternity but eventually passed.
By the time we were sent out our role in the movement over all had begun to change as well. We felt that there were differences in vision and it was wise to separate before it created any significant problems. We weren’t the only ones feeling the need to change, the couple we were working with felt that they too needed to shift from overall church leader to overall movement leader. We had taken a subordinate role in the movement to ensure unity and could clearly see there wasn’t enough demand for four people of our qualifications to be supported in this way.
Often when these types of change occur they are not as smooth and as well handled as one would wish. But as no one had gone this way before it was all uncharted territory and could only be accomplished by trial and error. The time from the church release to the release from the movement was approximately 9 to 10 months. During this time there were occasionally decisions or actions taken that I took offence to. I know the other people well and know that this wasn’t their heart. Nevertheless I struggled with some of the situations as they probably did with some of the things we did.
The problem for me was it caused my vision to be skewed by my reaction to what was happening on the home front. I rejected Sunday meetings altogether and opted for weeknights and Saturdays. This seemed avant-garde but in reality it was only provoked by my offence. We can cover up a great deal of offence with very spiritual jargon and sound very convincing. Although I enjoyed the time off and having the opportunities to speak in other churches that invited me, it wasn’t the best thing for growing the church.
I was having enough trouble clarifying the vision without having my reactions cause more haze on the horizon. Oh, hindsight is beautiful in its ability to prescribe what we should have done and what we shouldn’t have. But even more beautiful is the love and mercy of our Lord who in His kindness leads us to repentance. In His gentleness He exposed my sins to me and helped me receive His forgiveness for my stinking thinking. He allowed me to grow and change to which I am always so thankful. He doesn’t hit us with a stick or a bulldozer but in His time and in His way nudges and prods us into a place of receiving His revelation on our problems. My perceptions are always skewed from my sense of self-preservation. They are never completely accurate and I need to be constantly open to allowing Him to correct my course.
Years ago Bonnie had a revelation from the Lord as she was struggling with accusations and falsehoods aimed at me. Her pain was very real as she loved me dearly and couldn’t understand why there was so much opposition. The Lord dropped into her heart to forgive them for they didn’t know my heart. People judge and misjudge our actions for they have no idea why we act as we do. Unless they understand our heart they are open to the possibility of misinterpreting what we are trying to do for God and His kingdom. As we needed to extend grace to our accusers in the past so I needed to extend grace to myself, firstly, and then to others.
As I said before I know their heart was for us and not against us. But there is an enemy who loves to rob, kill and destroy. That enemy will accuse others to us so effectively that we can become deeply offended with people who we know love us dearly. That in and of itself should be enough to show us the source of our offence but I’m not always aware of the craftiness of the enemy.
By the time we were sent out our role in the movement over all had begun to change as well. We felt that there were differences in vision and it was wise to separate before it created any significant problems. We weren’t the only ones feeling the need to change, the couple we were working with felt that they too needed to shift from overall church leader to overall movement leader. We had taken a subordinate role in the movement to ensure unity and could clearly see there wasn’t enough demand for four people of our qualifications to be supported in this way.
Often when these types of change occur they are not as smooth and as well handled as one would wish. But as no one had gone this way before it was all uncharted territory and could only be accomplished by trial and error. The time from the church release to the release from the movement was approximately 9 to 10 months. During this time there were occasionally decisions or actions taken that I took offence to. I know the other people well and know that this wasn’t their heart. Nevertheless I struggled with some of the situations as they probably did with some of the things we did.
The problem for me was it caused my vision to be skewed by my reaction to what was happening on the home front. I rejected Sunday meetings altogether and opted for weeknights and Saturdays. This seemed avant-garde but in reality it was only provoked by my offence. We can cover up a great deal of offence with very spiritual jargon and sound very convincing. Although I enjoyed the time off and having the opportunities to speak in other churches that invited me, it wasn’t the best thing for growing the church.
I was having enough trouble clarifying the vision without having my reactions cause more haze on the horizon. Oh, hindsight is beautiful in its ability to prescribe what we should have done and what we shouldn’t have. But even more beautiful is the love and mercy of our Lord who in His kindness leads us to repentance. In His gentleness He exposed my sins to me and helped me receive His forgiveness for my stinking thinking. He allowed me to grow and change to which I am always so thankful. He doesn’t hit us with a stick or a bulldozer but in His time and in His way nudges and prods us into a place of receiving His revelation on our problems. My perceptions are always skewed from my sense of self-preservation. They are never completely accurate and I need to be constantly open to allowing Him to correct my course.
Years ago Bonnie had a revelation from the Lord as she was struggling with accusations and falsehoods aimed at me. Her pain was very real as she loved me dearly and couldn’t understand why there was so much opposition. The Lord dropped into her heart to forgive them for they didn’t know my heart. People judge and misjudge our actions for they have no idea why we act as we do. Unless they understand our heart they are open to the possibility of misinterpreting what we are trying to do for God and His kingdom. As we needed to extend grace to our accusers in the past so I needed to extend grace to myself, firstly, and then to others.
As I said before I know their heart was for us and not against us. But there is an enemy who loves to rob, kill and destroy. That enemy will accuse others to us so effectively that we can become deeply offended with people who we know love us dearly. That in and of itself should be enough to show us the source of our offence but I’m not always aware of the craftiness of the enemy.
