The third key to thriving spiritually is the ability to set wise priorities. Too often we let the busyness of life and the demands of others dictate our time and activities. We respond to the tyranny of the urgent – the most seemingly pressing demand at the time. If we are the ones responding, we call it tyranny. If we are the ones wanting something done by others, we call it “the squeaky wheel gets the grease”. One is a blessing to you, the other a tyrant. It just depends if you are the inflicted or the inflictor. Regardless, life is often controlled by outside influences if we are not careful.

Living a life of faith can end up being all about church business, which can get in the way of what needs to be done most. Our enthusiasm for the kingdom of God naturally leads us into involvement with the church – the physical expression of Christ on earth. We want to do the stuff that Jesus did. Luke 4:18 becomes our anthem. "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour." This truly is God’s heart for you as a believer too.

Church easily morphs into an institution versus an organism. Instead of letting structure compliment the growing life within the believers, the structure can assume that it is the life and everything needs to fit within its form and function. Order, form, proper behaviour become the mandate of the church rather than life and that more abundantly. People end up serving and maintaining a service rather than touching a community. The more you are involved, the more involvement the church demands from you. Often the result is people burn out from serving, leaving the church completely or retreating to another one where they determinedly set their faces against volunteering ever again.

I am involved with a co-operative group formed from various churches that have gap year students volunteering for them. This group formed out of a concern for the well being of these young people. The church (generally) tends to use them up and spit them out at the end of the year. This group is looking to bless them, disciple them, pray for them and encourage them so that at the end of their year it has been productive for both parties. What a blessing!

If you have been unfortunate enough to be caught up in the activity wheel of the church and spit out the other end, you know what a painful experience it can be. Once you step off the treadmill you can feel discarded as the attention shifts to whomever takes your place. Spiritual activity does not equate with spiritual growth or spiritual vitality. Busyness draws you into a cycle of endless activity that cuts out effective disciplines like reading the word, meditating on a revelation or God thought, or praying and listening to God. We just don’t have time anymore.

When talking about priorities, Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus, are the ones we first think of. “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:38 – 42) Martha was a good woman with a gift of hospitality. She wanted to bless Jesus but lost her focus. He wasn’t that fussed about dinner, He was concerned about their relationship. All the things she was focused on were important but not needed. What He had to say was the one thing she needed. All the rest would fall into place after that.

I have spent far too much time doing things that I thought were necessary for growing the church only to have the Lord take us a completely different direction. Now I am not about to do anything unless I am quite sure I know it’s what He wants. Many Christians whether leaders in the church or not have done as Martha. Our efforts were directed to good concerns and appropriate behaviours and yet they weren’t the really important things: the one thing that the Lord requires. We need to abide (or stay or hang around) with Him. I went to visit a pastor one morning. He had a really sheepish look about him when I came into his office. I asked what was up? He was embarrassed, as he had spent the morning sprawled out on the floor of his office worshipping the Lord. He then said, “I think it is probably more effective than anything else I could have done.” Even as a pastor it is hard to set the priorities that are truly important.

Christians and churches grow through prayer and stagnate when we stop praying. In church growth literature they call it “growth barriers” and then try to explain how to break through them by implementing different organisational strategies. The simple answer is a lack of prayer. When you start a church, you know you haven’t got a hope of getting it off the ground unless God shows up. So you pray and pray and pray and then pray some more. God hears, answers and blesses you with people. Then you get so busy taking care of them you no longer have time to pray. Seriously, you think that the concerns of the people are the priority for your time. They aren’t. God called you first to one thing: relationship with Him.

I was invited to do a weekend conference at a church a while ago. I took along a team to support me and to pray for people. When I finished the first message, I looked to my friends for some input into the situation. I asked each one of the five if they had any sense of what we should do next. All of them looked like they wanted to run away and none of them had anything to say. I thought, ‘great, just great. You bring along these wonderful gifted people and they have nothing’. As I stood there sweating out what to do next one of them came up and took the microphone. He said I have one word for the church, then spelled it out elaborately: P – A – I – N! (I thought, ‘Oh great! What am I supposed to do with that?) Then he turned to the pastor and said he had a picture for him. He said that he saw a 6-car garage. 3 of the bays were for giving out and 3 were for taking in. The 3 for giving out were completely empty, not even dust in them, and the doors were gone. But the 3 for receiving in from the Lord were empty too. But the doors were sealed shut as the hinges had rusted from lack of use. He then sat down.

I asked the pastor how he felt about what had been said. He affirmed that it was exactly how he felt and exactly where the church was too. The time of prayer was one of deep release and healing as the pain and despair had been oppressive for some time. The pastor later shared that he was a “pastor’s pastor” and that he called everyone of his congregation once a week to talk and make sure they were all right. Because of the size of the church he had nothing left to give as he had missed the one thing that was needful. All that he was doing was noble and thoughtful but ultimately detrimental, as he wasn’t leading from a place of richness in God. The church reflects the leader’s heart, not his head. If his heart is dry, hard, or empty, the church will be dry, hard and empty. If the leader is overflowing with the presence and the love of God, the church will be too.

Life is full of choices and obligations that require fulfilling. You can’t ignore some things and expect life to go well for you. But you can choose what you put first. To choose the right thing you have to assess your situation. Are you even aware of your priorities? What do you spend the most time at? What would your spouse say? What would your kids say? What would your friends and colleagues say? Are you open to reality or trying to justify yourself because the truth could be embarrassing?

Are you choosing the best thing like Mary?